On the Forecheck

"For a few dollars, children and adults will be given a handful of player feed they can drop over the glass—like this—and watch the Predators eat," said general manager David Poile, tossing food on the ice as hungry players glided by, slapping their sticks and drooling. "Don't try to feed them from your hand, though. They may not have many teeth, but the ones they do have are needle-sharp. Also, don't tap on the glass. They'll fight."

Little do the folks at The Onion know that Shea Weber is actually a real-life bearded beast....